I denied Sex…today…Moon stuff man…but hear me out first!?

Yes I denied sex…from a 17 year old coworker. Yeah. Can’t say nuthin now. Whut. Ok Lemme esplain:

This young coworker is hot-like a young slightly dark skinned thor with dark hair and a devilish smile, the charisma of sweetness and the heart of a young simba (not simba tryna take back the kingdom but “I Just wanna be king” simba). We just got off work and we were riding the same bus back home. Chillin, I was listening to their music, I said, “Yo I’m hungry. I’ma go to Mcdonalds.”

They said, “Cool.” Joked, talked a bit. I got off and said bye…but they got off the bus too. So okay we both going into Mcdonalds. I get my food and we start walking towards my place cause I ain’t goin nowhere else I is tired and sticky.

They keep grabbin my butt-However I consider it playful cause we always be doin this shit. But at one point I’m like, “Ite ite chill out. I haven’t been laid in a year, I already masturbated today. Ya know calm it down.” We walking, they calm it down a bit. 

Then they say, “Let’s go to the playground.” RED FLAG. Anytime some hussy says, “Let’s go to the playground” things are gonna happen at said playground-I know the game.

I fuck with um and go, “Yo it is DARK! Man, somebody could just be fuckin out here!”

I finish my food we keep walkin and they suddenly grab my arm and try to swing me around. My reaction is: Keep walking, don’t stop for shit just walk, clench vag. They grab my butt, etc etc. 

I say, “Yo look, I haven’t had sex in a year, one night ain’t nuthin.”

They reply, “All you gotta do is go down on me.”

"Nawww son. That’s not how you do it. If I do you-you gotta do me."

"Yeah I’ll do you anytime." Yes. I pondered this. Don’t judge me man.

"I go naw. You’re young."

"My ex was (a number in the 20s)" 

"Look I got a lil somethin called integrity. I don’t just go down on a person like that.  Plus you were datin that chic. We aren’t dating. Look you my brah, you know don’t fuck this up man we’re cool."

I punch them playfully.

"We’re cool. Ite."

They say, “Okay fine. But gimme a hug” We hug. I walk home, looking up at the moon. Cursing the moon.

That’s right I cursed the moon…damn if only they were out of high school-not so damn young I’da hit that…not in park though. That’s ratchet. And the irony! Innocence being maimed by sexual acts ugh. I dread the thought…I’m kinda horny tho guese. Shit…

Weird Dream!

So I had a dream that I was at my friends’ house and we were spending a few nights sleeping over there. But one of my coworkers was there who is also a friend of theirs. And he and I started flirting a lot, then we started cuddling.

So one night while watching a movie in bed I fell asleep on him and he noticed…and I think he got a hard on so…then his girlfriend showed up the next day (yeah he gotta girl). It was awkward-he dipped out of the house because he was confused and I was super nice to her…kinda started hitting on her. Oh and my 2 friends were dressed up like Holmes and Watson.

Coupla things-

I don’t mess with folks who have a significant other…or I try not too.

and Yes he is an adorable little dreamy pothead…but that ain’t happenin. Kinda like that episode of 2 1/1 Men when the younger brother moves in with his girlfriend. Eats a lot of pot bread and ends up sleeping with her mother.

What a weird dream.

I am going to post one of the most exciting convos I’ve had on okcupid…and it was from a guy who rejected me :D

No I’m fareal, I want to deck it out with this dude…oh and he’s a scorpio so he think he know everything…just like the rest of us. Difference is…he’s close minded? I don’t know that many close-minded scorpios…most of us are pretty open or at least somewhat right? Anyway, he was a cute nerdy Arab muslim kid from Springfield:

  • howdy doo?

    82% Enemy0% Friend11% MatchSent to drmuneeb 

  • An image of null
    Jun 16, 2012 – 11:50pm
    hey.. we kinda dont match at all.. sorry thou
    Report this
  • An image of null
    Jun 17, 2012 – 8:27pm
    ha, damn. legit, that’s the best rejection i’ve gotten. Thanks!
  • An image of null
    Jun 17, 2012 – 8:31pm
    wait you actually pay attention to the “match” thing?
  • An image of null
    Jun 17, 2012 – 11:11pm
    umm .. sex, naked and stuff.. ehh.. i’d rather pass, im usually only into girls that can sustain long relationships.. i know im a scorpio but i’ve trained myself to continue my virgin status till marriage
    Report this
  • An image of null
    Jun 18, 2012 – 12:30pm
    okay so are you assuming that because i enjoy sex, nudity and “stuff” that I wouldn’t be able to sustain a long term relationship nor accept one? that’s a little biased/judgmental of you isn’t it? 
  • An image of null
    Jun 18, 2012 – 12:43pm
    Well your answer to “About how long do you want your next relationship to last?” question was “A few months to a year” 

    and “Regardless of future plans, what’s more interesting to you right now?” was answered with “Sex” 

    kinda looking for someone whose thinking rest of life maybe and someone who’d love me? (o0”) 

    aren’t we scorpios good at judging others though 

    Other things that might get weird 
    - You smoke/drink/do drugs 
    - Religious Tension 
    - Open Relationship
    Report this
  • An image of null
    Jun 18, 2012 – 12:53pm
    wow you really went in depth with this/still being a tad bit judgmental. and as scorpios, sometimes we’re quick to the punch but not always right about our judgments. 
    and you could also have just done the latter and asked me. Here’s why. 
    in essence, everyone’s looking for love/that “one person” or what have you so just because I like sex doesn’t mean I’m not open to all forms of what life throws at me romantically nor does that mean it’s all I really want. We’re young, so in the case of “smoking, drinking, weed” none of those things control nor alter my life in any way. I grew up muslim, but currently am not religious; but open to all forms of religion, so spiritual I guess? “Open relationship” doesn’t mean I’m going to start one and request that it be open, but I’m not opposed to the idea if my partner wasn’t. 
    Sorry for the essay-length of answers, but it was fun. 
  • An image of null
    Jun 18, 2012 – 1:08pm
    oh and I accept nakedness as a form of artistic expression as well as one’s acceptance of their body because we are such a beauty-conscious society-I believe we should accept what we’ve been given…just to throw that cherry on top. WHAMO.
  • An image of null
    Jun 18, 2012 – 2:18pm
    (- -,) you’re a murtad, dont expect any sympathy for me. I’m right about all my judgements and have always been. We’ll see what future stores for you if this is just youthful rebellion or something more. 

    Meanwhile.. back to my quest of world domination
    Report this

Just now!
haha “murtard” that’s new oh and sympathy boyoboy when did I become so richly awarded? Fact: you couldn’t come up with a more intelligent response than that which is petty and you’re Still judging my moral code when this is all just a friendly conversation about points different interests? another Fact: I like to think that conservatism and close-mindedness isn’t always the way to go, however that is your choice, most respected-I simply wanted to express my point versus those crude judgments. Word to the wise; I will poop in your face if you even try to rule this world. :D many peace and blessings to ya! bye!”
I’m so serious about poop in the face thing though…if he takes over the world…nah uh buddy. Ain’t happenin. 
I’m kinda mad he ended the conversation there, and it wasn’t even a “hey we can be friends” it was a “I’m looking for a relationship rarara ra ra.” And he wouldn’t ask anything nor seek to truly battle me out here. THATS WHAT TRUE SCORPIOS DO, WE BATTLE THE SHIT OUT OF DISCUSSIONS AND GAMES AND ETC BECAUSE WE ARE COMPETITIVE AS SHIT. 
I’m convinced he’s not a true scorpio, fuck I’m not even a true Scorpio I’m a Sagg Cusp. Wtfuck buddy. Fail. Anyway, that was THE highlight of my okcupid life. It was great. 
okcupid, you gettin on my nerves buddy.

ok explain to me why this has happened twice…

I started having slightly nice conversations with (at least) two dudes on okcupid and all of a sudden they stopped talking to me…wait I do that shit too.

But only to dudes who are pushy or odd like,

"hey its taking you a long time to repy" after not replying for 5 min or so 


"yeah i just got out of bad relationship" or "yeah life has been really hard right now"…

or you say dumb shit that clearly makes the conversation die out (and I don’t do that…I’m just weird and blunt).

Guess online chatting is…awkward. but I am learning, awkward is okay-in fact awkward is fucking fantastic.

Penis Envy…

So guys always have funny sex stories or clever shit they can do in bed…

like using your dick like a lightsabe and singing the star wars theme song and say something stupid about the force…

or make super mario video game noises…

Basically…there really aren’t that many funny stories about a chic doing something in connection with her vag while having sex…

Anyone have any-cause I’d really love to do it?

I have a relationship with myself…and it’s very good relationship…

I treat myself well, take myself out to dinner, love myself and sometimes a lil hate, a lil anger peeps in, I give myself sexytime with a nice vibrator, the hair isn’t bothersome-and if the hair is too much I tell myself it’s time to shave, or it’s time for a new hairdo or it’s time to get myself drunk, I tell myself how nice it is, how beautiful the world is and how ugly it is…I treat myself very well.

It’s a good relationship. I like what I have…

how many people can say that?

what does all this mean???

Okay here’s my dilemma…

I want to get laid (there’s no need involved cause I’ll live if I don’t),

but I have the option of meeting up with some dude from okcupid to hang out. See if we’re chill and then if leads to the sack then so be it.

But everything in my body is going “NO. No Yazzy no. You want something else, you know you want something else. You wanna date, you wanna meet new people, sex is complicated and complicates things.” My friend said try out a few dates with this dude and have a summer fling, go for it. I guess cause the dude pulled a “I’m lonely wanna come over?” (at 1am) and a “What are you wearing?” When someone says that-I ain’t no damn fool.

Do I wanna just date and not deal with the sex? Yes, actually I do. I’m so confuddled. Also, I feel as if I’m degrading myself in some way by indulging in the online dating world to just find someone to hang with. I know it’s not but it’s like saying “Oh, you can’t find someone fareal-in the real world so you gotta find um online first.” Does that mean somethings wrong? I can’t tell…

 That does say something doesn’t it? What does it mean if you’re more seemingly attractive online than in real life-or let me say it like this, what does it mean if you get more attention online than you do in real life? (well hell that happens regardless online because more folk just wanna get it in/are superficial-I believe)


Funny story. I told my sis I joined okcupid and she said that she did too but had tot leave because she got too many people just hitting on her and asking her for sex…Now THAT says something doesn’t it?

Dating Website Hole of “Pay Attention to Me Please?!”

I have done it-joined the mighty Dating Website. OkCupid. Couple of chics on campus actually have one…I initialy wanted to use it so it could tell me who I’m most compatible with on campus-which would be HI larious. However I got stuck in the DC area and browsed.

Here’s what I’ve gotten:

"Hey I hope you don’t mind me asking but would you like to have casual sex?"

"Hey u cutie"

"You’re a beautiful girl"

"Hey, would you like a sugar daddy?"

"Yes. Okay. I get it. I dig you."

"I would love to hang with you"

"U sexxii"

"Hey what’s up I’d Wine and Dine you :) "

"Hey this is funny cause I sorta know you. A friend of mine said he had sex with you at Hollins and apparently you loved it."

The last one I deleted-ya know freshman year adventures. I did hook up with a tall football player from GMU (why they were 4 hours away from campus at Hollins, no fuckin clue), hook up meant major foreplay-what can I say freshman times shit happens.

Anyways. I started really talking to this one guy who was really attractive, his idea of hanging out was “coffee and talking.” The rest have been…interesting. I don’t do these a lot. Every so often I check um out just for the hell of it, also to fuck with people (not literally)-I try to write the most ridiculous shit and see how they’ll react. Good thing I didn’t put my area in Roanoke…guh on that ship. 

Plus it intrigues me who’s attracted to who, I’ve gotten tons of minorities, Indians, Latinos, African Americans and a few white guys, just a few. Says somethin right?

Wondered what happened


Last night, I sat alone on the couch in my underwear, ordered Italian food (they forgot the meatballs. Assholes.), drank some beers and several scotches while watching two straight hours of Real Housewives of Orange County. As my time with Alexis ended – my favorite due to her complete lack of intelligence - and I thumbed through my DVR list wondering how I’d pass the rest of the night, the same depressing thought scurried through my brain yet again: This isn’t where I thought I’d be at 30 years old.

I had assumed my bachelor days would have ceased by now. That a bubbly voice would be there to chide me whenever I hovered over the kitchen sink, devouring dinner directly from the pot. That I’d have a girlfriend so intellectually well-rounded, we’d exchange witty barbs about foreign policy before diving into serious matters, such as whether or not Courtney from The Bachelor was actually attractive. I’m slightly exaggerating here, but I did at least envision having a special someone so engrained in my life that the necessity of wearing pants at night would be more of a given. If only so that the lucky lady had something to remove later on.

As it stands, the last carnal encounter I had occurred in 2011. The admission “Well, I haven’t had sex this year…,” actually left my lips the other evening amid the company of close friends, all of whom are nauseatingly happy in their various serious relationships. 

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yeesh. I sympathize.

my conclusion on the ideal person(s) to be with-

don’t have the answers but ideally: artist in some way, funny, alive, intelligent, yes to SEX, and doesn’t give two fucks and a handbag for social media with a good sense of racial/gender equality (goes both ways for chics and dudes)…did I mention older, I think that should be in there…

yeah, yeesh hard right.  

also no religious nut please? can we both realistically look at religion and acknowledge what it is as a controlling factor in our society…yes? Oh you’re great sweety.

this is another reason why I should get laid more-

this is another reason why I should get laid more-

6 months!

Sad Times:

haven’t been laid in 6 months. On top of that, you know how you have those really lonely moments? That basic need for human touch is sometimes something you can’t ignore…so right now I want to fullfill my body’s needs to have that and the emotional need but- A) in this day and age kids are more complicated…it’s either a one night stand or that rare long relationship I have yet to run into, B) my vibrator is getting tired of me, C) sometimes I fall asleep while masturbating, D) bitches suck at getting their shit together, E) I’m located in Roanoke on a small all chics campus-not the best place for this circumstance…

Remedy: play lots of Sade, Cranberries, anything else sad-like, Dave Matthews Band…ya know the jist.

So HER Radio, do your thing. Remedy me for a moment. Grazzie.

Anyone else feeling this?

meheheee :(

meheheee :(

What we need to let ourselves do is acknowledge that sex is a big deal for some people, and really not a big deal for others. We need to get better at saying “Eh, that’s not really my thing, but if you like it, rock on with your cock on” and meaning it. Otherwise, we will only continue to be opaque to each other. We will miss the enormous pain in someone who would really like to get some, but isn’t. We will miss the pain in someone who doesn’t want to have sex but feels obligated to. We will miss all the people who can’t reconcile the contradiction between their utterly filthy fantasies and the social role they find themselves in. Understanding can only arise from acknowledging our mutual incomprehension.
I just want a dick with a nice attractive guy attatched…
shit my friends say (oh those NEFA porch conversations)…