I had a flashback while in the shower…
I remembered when I passed outside of a club on night on the curb. I threw up and fell asleep. The bouncers came and put me in a chair, police officers searched my wallet to try and find my id but didn’t so called someone on my phone…it was one of my friends I rarely talk to but still deeply love and care about.
I went to the club with my friend who I once called “sister.” In the time that I left the club to pass out, she looked for me only a little, her phone died so she didn’t think to use someone elses phone to try and call me and didn’t panic or find the police or bouncers or security…she didn’t spend a lifetime looking for me…until after she left the club…after she was done partying. Let me rephrase:
She noticed I left, didn’t do much about it and tried looking for me after she was done clubbing.
In that time I could’ve been arrested, raped, kidnapped, killed, beaten, etc…
I didn’t really think about it until tonight. Until just now-I would’ve reacted differently. I did react differently. When I lost my friends in the club I had one of their phones, I went outside, called her sister and waited. They came out later but I had info that they were still in the club and I had the location of our pickup.
She didn’t. After 5 minutes, not even I would’ve followed my friend if she left, if she went to the bathroom or anywhere. It was just the two of us-buddy system right? Because if she left I would’ve followed.
I’m not ashamed of what’d happened in front of the club but I’m ashamed of her response timing. A friend wouldn’t do that, because a friend who I rarely talked to came to pick me up at 1am…that fucking means a lot.
now I have the full scope of why most of my friends were pretty pissed off at her…and I don’t see why we’re still friends, I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately.
So initially I was really excited to live with my friend and her current roomate…because I’m getting to be ok with her crazyass-attention desperate-roomate. Except that circumstance doesn’t work like that…so I’m now rooming with two friends of mine who are both really dope, both Tarueans, both crazy ass all hell but on different levels-but folk I can really chill with and not give to fucks bout anything. Both of them are very carefree and fun…so guess what. I’m more happy to be living with them. It’s weird-fate awoken when my friend (the one I was gonna room with) and her roomate both kinda just got on my nerves. Ya know it happens. Those moments when you really just don’t wanna deal with a nigga.
I gotta say-the way shit happens…sometimes it surprises me at how well things can really work out.
I’m really fuckin happy about that…today’s just been a good day. Holi is a great moment to wash everything off, throw shit at friends, eat and feel good. I mean just Feel Good.
My liver is not happy with me…
and so I get back from a long weekend of crazy loveliness and get on facebook. My sis left me a pagecomment thingy saying
"thank’s for de-sistering me. where have u been"
why does it take her a simple facebook deletion to recognize that I’m still alive? Why does she give two shits? Where have I been?
Limbo. Oh Limbo.
Apparently shits gotta always be facebook official.
For the only time it fucking snowed so far this year I have managed to…
-make 2 snow angels
-throw snowballs at a tree so it looks spotted
-sled down Tinker Beach
-piss myself while sleddin down Tinker Beach (sorry Will Smith pants)
-get into epic snowball fights
-get snowball in ear
-have friend catch every single one of your snowballs and throw it back
-rip up many sheets of plastic while sledding down Tinker Beach
-sled on friend
-make a giant G in the snow
-make multiple penis structures on Front Quad
-help write NEFA greek symbols in front of NEFA
-get fucking drenched…
shits my friends say
What I’ve learned this week:
-don’t worry too much because eventually things turns out aright
-what you expect may happen; but sometimes there are unexpected “surprises” towards the end
-that surprise includes being awake at 3am and alerted that someone yacked all over the bathroom…and when I offer to clean it up sober or not…I be cereal about that, I’ve cleaned shit too many times to really care anymore…
-bitches love havin useless conversations…even in hookah bars
-poetry and meditation def go hand in hand
-anger is useless but when it sneaks up on you it’s difficult to stifle
-why must I hear from everyone else about someone’s feelings but not the individual themselves-I don’t get it
-getting laid in Roanoke with a decent someone is a difficult task that includes binoculars, map, test tubes, personality analysis and a sane meter
-you know you’re friend’s a dumbass when she fails at smoking weed…through a pipe and a home-made water bottle bong
-but I’m gonna miss that dumbass cause she’s on her way to London for a whole semester
-and everytime I hear “dat cray” somewhere I get a little sad; yes sentimental moment happening
-no bitch it’s all bout the Fred, you saw how he played that guitar.
|—||shit my friends say.|
ie-today, my friend’s sis gave me the rest of her steak. Made dinner so much more better, mine was too fuckin rare. it looked like a dead squirrel